[bit of my inspiration board]
Yesterday: "Please ... we cannot dance in the grocery store. It is not safe for yourself and others." [besides this music isn't all that great.] Then again, three minutes later: "Haven't i just asked you to stop dancing around so?" And finally, getting myself down low and close to the little bug-eyed face, talking ever so slowly; burning a hole with each word: "I. have. already. talked. to. you. about. this. just two isles over."
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Only two days in to Easter vacation and already I'm hearing myself say things like " ... and I'd like to have just one thought in my head [emphasized with index finder to temple] that is uninterrupted." When did I become such an ogre? This is not an attractive side of myself and I need to work on that. Summer is coming.
More than just the fact that they'll be around all day summer long ... it comes down to something more. It's not a matter of patience, but of acceptance. Each of us in our little family is, right now, who we are going to be. As the mother, it's not my job to try and mold them into being who I think they should become [reminder only to myself, really.] It is my job to lovingly accept each one of us for who we are, and try to help steer them toward a positive use of those characteristics and qualities.
Here's a recent image of us, confident with just being together, occupying the same space, yet each one clearly experiencing a situation in our own unique way. My way in this case -- not as mediator, or peace-maker or educator, or comfort source -- but this time through the lens merely as observer.
And another from last summer (that I just love) that represents the same thing.
[photo: Matt Lasher]
Why is simple acceptance so hard to offer at times?
Living with a non-stop talker who also is a non-stop mover is tough to take at times. The urge to make things calm is overwhelming. So perhaps I shouldn't be so hard on myself, and yet, I know that for my children to feel love they must be themselves without constant nagging to "change." It is their perspective that matters.
Part of this is that I need to dismiss my expectations of what is "age appropriate." I need to remember that we have some unique circumstances. All day during the long, demanding hours away at school there is a need to 'hold it together', even suppress and control certain behaviors. It's a big load for a little kid to bear. She is entitled to the outlet; to the freedom.
All of this has me hearing a strong message resounding through my brain: Press on. What I can do: adjust my demeanor, be conscious to correct myself as I correct them (always with kindness to us both) and just ... press on forward.
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The mantra; the phrase is a simple truth of life and it keeps popping forward lately in so many ways:
When you feel your output (whether as parent, or artist, or professional) is not good enough; that what you do makes little impact ... when doubt creeps in ...
PRESS ON
When time is limited and you question "When can i fit in time for thought without interruption?"
PRESS ON
If expressive, or visual time seems extravagant and untimely and you make excuses about not finding time? Think there's no time to make anything? Just do something small. Pick up a pen. Doodle. Write a sentence ...
PRESS ON
When you begin to compare your work product with everyone else's ... stop looking around. Don't do that! Trust that your gifts are your own, and with repetition, practice, more doing, less over thinking ... tiny steps and enormous strides -- you will become all that is intended.
PRESS ON
"Don't worry about being unique. Just be good" - Paul Rand
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After all, when it comes right down to it, I suppose we should all be so carefree as to find happiness dancing among leafy greens, potatoes and onions. Hello Celtic step class.
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inspiration: {A} what's your message?
